At about the same time as the school sanctioned Root Beer Pong Tournament Mar 20, a less-than-approved actual beer pong tournament occurred in the back hallways of the fine arts building.

The tournament was hosted by an unnamed group of seniors, with the requirements to enter being “a six pack of beer” and “being a bro.” The prize was a half-liter of ever clear, which has since been confiscated by public safety. The games were conducted in a “no rules” fashion, with many teams jumping straight onto the table to retrieve the ball, spilling both water and alcohol everywhere. While a bracket to keep the tournament organized was attempted early on, it was quickly puked on by a freshman, leading to the adoption of the backup plan “just keep playing until everyone passes out.”

An unknown senior won the tournament with a score of 3-2 games won, ending the final game by punching his opponent in the face and then proceeding to spill the contents of the remaining red solo cups on him, inciting an extreme roar of applause from the conscious portion of the crowd. Just as he was retrieving his prize of a bottle of 190 proof, public safety arrived on the scene, causing a mass exodus of the area.

Eight freshman were unable to escape the scene due to being unconscious on the floor. Public safety has since taken them in for questioning in an attempt to figure out the other culprits.

The seniors who organized the event are still at large, and public safety advised all residents of campus to be cautious, as they are more than likely still drunk.