Murray and Blanche Christianson, two respected members of the community and church, recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, which locals described as “absolutely disgusting.”
The couple was featured on the front page of the town’s newspaper, with Murray sweetly planting a kiss on his wife’s cheek (pictured right), which several readers said “made them gag.” Quotes from the couple told this romantic and undeniably revolting love story.
“When I saw her corn-silk hair and vibrant sky-blue eyes, I fell hard and fast,” Murray said, causing his interviewer to grimace from the excessive sweetness. “We danced to the song Can’t Help Falling in Love, and how accurate that was! Nothing could stop me from devoting heart and soul to that beautiful lady,” he said, disgustingly.
“Our first kiss was magical,” Blanche said, although no one had asked. “He’d made me a homemade dinner of all my favorites. We ate by candlelight, sipped wine, and stared into each other’s eyes. Three hours later, we kissed.”
“I’ve never seen a more perfect couple,” said James Molin, the understandably repulsed pastor that married them. “Their vows brought tears to my eyes, and made me want to vomit. Those feelings resurface every year when they send me their Christmas card.”
“The only thing more [disgustingly] wonderful than the way I feel about my wife is the love we share for our son,” Murray said.