On the morning of Wednesday, Mar. 30, a frustrated, drunk leprechaun was spotted rampaging across the campus of SMSU. The leprechaun was reportedly looking for a St. Patrick’s Day party, not realizing that St. Patrick’s Day had already occurred on Mar. 17, two weeks prior.

“Howya, where’s the hooley?,” the visibly drunk leprechaun slurred to many passing students.

The inebriated Leprechaun allegedly made his way to the student center, where he threw shamrocks at students.

“Wot, are ye party sensors banjaxed? Get crunk, ye kids. It’s St. Paddy’s Day,” the leprechaun yelled while throwing green food coloring into residential dining.

Public safety received several calls about the leprechaun, and spotted him attempting to brew green beer out of a home brewery outside of the Mustang Zone.

“We asked him to stop causing such a disturbance,” Brady Olock, an officer of public safety said. “He replied by screaming, ‘I will in my ring,’ throwing a shamrock shaped throwing star at me, and disappearing in a puff of green smoke. I’m pretty sure that right there is a violation of at least half a dozen MnSCU rules.”

“I was just gobsmacked when I couldn’t find any parties,” the leprechaun said. “All these Americans are putting me up to 90! St. Paddy’s is the greatest time of year to get bamboozled on green beer, and they don’t even seem to know what day it is!”

As Oblock and the rest of public safety cornered the leprechaun, he went into a fit.

“All I wanna do is have some fun around here and these gobshites keep tryin’ to ruin it! The pox aren’t even wearing green, lads,” the leprechaun angrily reported. “I’m bloody well cheesed off at the lack of shenanigans around here!”

As Public Safety took the drunk and belligerent leprechaun into custody, he was sarcastically heard yelling the words “what a gas” while being dragged off to where the school keeps rouge holiday icons who missed their day.