Last Monday, Dec. 7, things seemed normal at SMSU’s McFarland Library. The atmosphere was silent, but work was happening in every inch of the library. Students began leaving the library just before midnight, taking advantage of the library’s extended hours during finals.

However, as students were exiting and hatching plans to find new study spots, SMSU President Connie Gores and her merry band of misfits were making their own plans to enter the McFarland Library.

One minute after midnight on Tuesday, just as the library was closing, President Gores and Provost Dwight C. Watson, along with several staff members from admissions, the physical plant, dining services, event planning, residence life, custodial, public safety, business services, the on campus post office, the technology resource center, half of the school’s professors and reportedly even some high profile students, gathered on the mythical first floor of the library (which legend has it, is where the poorly behaved students are imprisoned).

Several of the librarians came out of their hiding places they had carefully selected before the last sweep of the library and sent the elevators down to the forbidden floor. The doors opened at the unknown location that is the first floor and the attendees all hit the button leading to the fifth floor.

“You’re all about to have the night of your lives!” President Gores announced with a mischievous smile as the elevator doors opened with the first set of attendees.

Once the entire group of hooligans had reached the fifth floor, President Gores got to work remodeling the fifth floor into something more fitting for her end of the year party. Physical Plant came in with the Mustang themed jukebox from Founders’ Hall, while members of admissions started putting up a disco ball. With the combined efforts of all attendees, the 5th floor was stripped of all its computers and academic resources and converted into a top tier dancefloor.

The music started just as food services rolled out the punch, which was promptly spiked by an unknown vagabond. The next several hours were spent with a massive dance off, with different departments competing for the golden trophy President Gores had picked up at the dollar store the night before. It looked like James and Marianne Zarzana were going to win the competition for the English Department with their techno tango waltz, but Victoria Flatgard, from the food court, busted out her sick break dancing moves and took the trophy for SMSU dining services.

Much of the party cleared out when it was learned that not all of Public Safety was informed of the night’s antics. As a couple of Public Safety members on closing duty were coming into the library to investigate the racket coming from the 5th floor. Realizing she was in danger of having her party busted, President Gores began smuggling guests out the library’s fire escape. The remaining attendees then stuffed themselves into the Speech Center and closed the blinds.

One of the Public Safety officers agreed to speak on terms of anonymity.

“Upon entering the top floor, we realized that a party was going on. The students responsible managed to escape, but they must be extremely cunning and have had help from someone working at the school,” The officer reported. “The scale of this is massive.”

Once the coast was clear, President Gores and the remaining rabble-rousers emerged back to the library and began returning to their homes after an eventful night.

The night ended with President Gores and Provost Watson slow dancing to Billy Joel’s Piano Man, yelling out all the lyrics as they went.