A shocking new report from the Minnesota Institute of Nutrition Sciences (MINS) helps illustrate many spending habits of college students. The report states that up to 75 percent of food consumed in November by college students is in fact Halloween candy.

“This [report] has a stunning number of inclinations,” says MINS researcher and candy psychologist William Bafferts. “Not only does it signify that college kids apparently don’t see themselves as too old to be trick or treating, but they in fact view the activity as an essential source of nutrition.”

The report studied 6,000 college students from 50 different institutions in 35 states. The report states that an overwhelming number of college students are going out and begging for Reece’s pieces, not just for entertainment, but for their very survival.

“The situation with post school debt and internships being unpaid are making some students so financially desperate that even ramen noodles are no longer cheap enough,” Bafferts said. “They’re turning to Halloween as a source of food because it’s the cheapest opportunity for them to eat, where they might otherwise have to skip meals.”

The report goes further to say that some students are so desperate that they are not even discriminating between the types of candy that they receive, even going so far as to consume the gross candy bars, like Almond Joys, Mounds, and even the black Twizzlers.

Many students supported the findings of the report.

“I think they got the sentiment right, but not the numbers,” SMSU Junior Sadie Starvar said. “I mean, my meals generally consist of Milk Duds and Lifesavers until at least mid-December.”

“It sounds about right,” Spur Editor-in-Chief Nicole Schwing said. “But we aren’t so choosy. They think black Twizzlers are bad? Ha! I’ll even eat the black Red Vines.”

Nicole has been trick-or-treating for nutrition for years and is quite experienced.

“I usually bring a UNICEF box, because then people think you’re actually giving it away and tend to give more,” Schwing said. “One year I had a UNICEF bag, and I got the ultimate score; a whole box of Pocky. But then I brought it back to the Spur office and the other editors ate it.” Nicole looked into the distance, adding, “I was so angry I almost fired everyone.”

Upon reading the report, many parents in the community have decided to help out.

“Once I read this awful report, I upgraded my candy stocks,” Carrie Martha, local mother stated. “We got rid of that yucky dark chocolate stuff and use Dove instead of Hershey’s now. In fact, my husband and I want to try to keep a bowl of candy out for the hungry students year round.”

It is a new integral part of the college experience to go so hungry that Halloween becomes like a trip to the grocery store. Rumor has it that the ritzier Marshall neighborhoods might be giving out cups of Easy Mac this year.