Multiple students have been seen around campus with black eyes and abrasions on their arms. The likely cause of these injuries is the underground group, SMSU’s Fight Club.
The club is based off the movie ‘Fight Club,’ (not the book, specifically the movie) in it a group of people gather once a week to beat each other up. They do this to “get their frustrations out and to feel alive,” an anonymous informant tells us.
The informant tells us that the club moved from the library as they thought “it was disrespectful to cause such a ruckus in a quiet area.” They made it clear that this group isn’t malicious they are just going to blow off some steam.
The reason it came back after so long was because of the “new increased stressors of everyday life. Including school, government and social issues.”
“It’s easier to beat up your neighbor or roommate or even a classmate, we even have a professor in the club, then it is to fall down the rabbit hole of existential dread. Tik Tok and YouTube feed us that we don’t want to hear just so we click on it. This helplessness is what caused Fight club to be reformed. In the movie The Narrator says something like when you are in a fight the whole world melts away.” Our informant told us.
They follow a strict set of rules like the ones in the original movie/book, but they added on to it. The last time we covered SMSU Fight Club we talked about “Rule 12: No smack talk about mothers or girlfriends. Rule 17: No more inviting members of the Rugby team! (They’re intimidating.) Rule 26: No uploading videos of the fights to YouTube. The same goes for Instagram and Vine (Tweets are okay).”
The most interesting new rules are, Rule 31: No phones at all (this includes watches), applied after Rule 26 was broken too many times, Rule 35: absolutely no mention of Baby Shark or Skibiti Toilet and finally Rule 37: Do not talk about fight club (I guess they wanted to reiterate this for the third time.)
If you want to join it, you have to get yourself in a fight and not fight back, let them hit you. The last reporter, Daniel Kilkelly, on this case told readers, “Don’t be afraid to go up to a perfect stranger and say, ‘I want you to hit me as hard as you can.’”
The majority of the school seems to be unaware of this club but now if you see random cardboard or carpet laying around or areas of campus getting repainted/touched up just know there was a fight there recently.
As long as they don’t follow the trajectory of the movies, and the school doesn’t find out about them, SMSU Fight club is harmless to the public. No caution or fear is warranted toward these individuals if you ever find out who they are.
Editor’s Note: We have been notified to invite people to join. If you want information on joining E-mail the Buzz at [email protected].
