Lo and behold

the mighty Beholder

(Purple is the color this season)

with its many rays of death, disintegration, destruction

(Rays for days, though not of the Romano or Charles variety).

It’s a machine meant to protect you

as you disintegrate your foes

(Just avoid explosives aimed at the central glass eye).

Please keep your arms and legs

inside the Beholder at all times.

No flash photography is allowed.

Keep your seatbelts fastened.

In case of emergency

(If the machine is on fire, begins spewing green acid,

or has fallen and can’t get up)

please contact your local

Dungeons and Dragons dungeon master

or your local cell phone service provider

and calmly explain what happened.

They shall be there shortly.

Just one question:

Did you try turning it off and turning it on again?